office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
