She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
