At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
