Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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