i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your penis caused this!
Randomize