the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
