I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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