i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
