my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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