Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
