I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize