There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
