you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
