if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize