Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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