Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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