I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
