i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
