so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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