Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
