do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize