You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
