I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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