i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
