You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
