I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
