dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
