Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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