we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
