The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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