brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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