that's an acceptable place to lick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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