I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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