Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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