I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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