whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
