This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
