Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
When are your genitals available?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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