Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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