how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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