I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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