Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
