My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
