Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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