Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
