I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
