this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
