btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
