So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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