i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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