you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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