Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
