there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize