i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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