you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There was a lot of him and a little penis
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
