Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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