i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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