My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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