im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
